You ever meet that dude who is timid, shy, weak, walks with his eyes down, shoulders slouched in? Maybe has an opinion but is too scared to say it because someone might criticize it? Afraid to approach people, not confident enough to try new things, avoids confrontation at all costs? Maybe you know a person like that, or maybe that person is you. If that person is you, or you know someone like that, go ahead and read and share this.
The symptoms above come from a lack of confidence, lack of self-worth, and lack of self-respect. Okay, great. How do we fix that? Well, self-help books could work. They could teach you to make eye contact, establish boundaries, approach and be approachable, speak up, respect yourself, blah blah blah. The fact is these are all true, and self-help books have their place. But one things books can’t do is hard shit.
Hard shit is what forges a person. Doing hard shit gives you real life experience pushing limits, finding out what you’re capable of, and then finding out that you’re capable of more than you ever thought possible. Hard shit can give you a mindset that is more than just advice from a book that you’ve made habits of. The fact is, there is no substitute for hard shit.
What is hard shit? It’s a goal that is obscenely hard and punishing both mentally and physically. No one can define it for you since it’s different for everyone. The overweight person is going to have something like “run a mile” be hard, while the fitness professional needs to take it to the level of “complete 10 triathlons in 1 month.” Either way, it has to be a goal that is a long term, obscenely difficult to obtain.
After the goal is established, it’s time to get to work. At some point you should question whether the goal is worth it, if it’s silly, unobtainable, ridiculous. If you never question any of that, the goal was likely too easy. If you don’t want to quit somewhere along the way, it was too easy.
Next you get to work. Again, it’s not a quick goal. It’s going to require baby steps. The baby steps teach patience, determination, and mental fortitude. No instant gratification here. The physical aspect should push your limits regularly. Breaks and rest days only when absolutely necessary. Get to the point where you can annihilate your body for multiple days and learn to love it. This is the hard shit.
Once you reach your goal, and you will, because failure is not an option, you will be rewarded with a sense of confidence, self-respect and self-worth. You’ll understand that what you did is worthy of respect from anyone. You will know that you are capable of more than you thought possible and that you bring willpower, mental and physical toughness to any table you sit at. Then, you get to relax for a time and then do it all over again. That’s right, the hard shit never stops. The hard shit only gets harder. It compounds each time you do it.
After you’re first hard event is completed, you already know you’re going to feel great and accomplished. What you aren’t prepared for is how this is going to carry over to other areas of your life. Confidence in your own abilities is a wild, wild concept. Do enough hard shit and you’ll realize you’re unstoppable in all that you do. You’ll realize that even if you aren’t the best at something, hell even if you downright suck at something, you have the drive and ability to attack it, figure it out, and master it. The great thing about putting in the work and doing the hard shit, is that you’ll never feel inadequate. You won’t have negative thoughts or feel like a phony because everything you know about conducting yourself was learned from a book but no real work was ever put in. You didn’t learn to conduct yourself from a book, you forged the identity you sought after. You built it, you earned it. You didn’t take any shortcuts.
Once you’ve got some hard shit done, share the hard shit. The world needs more hard men forged from doing hard shit.