Think about your circle of friends. Do any of your friends challenge you to be a better person? Do you challenge any of your friends to be better? Do you friends even want you to be better? Do you want your friends to be better?
Before we even get into challenging our friends, let’s first state that it’s unhealthy if you don’t want others to do well. The same way it’s a bad idea to keep friends around if you know they don’t want you to do better. If that’s you, you have some work to do. And if that’s your friends, you’re better off without them.
With that out of the way, let’s talk about challenging your friends. As we get older we stagnate. We get wrapped up in our comfort zones and daily routines. It’s our nature as humans. We have things so good in the current times that most of us literally have to go out of our way to seek discomfort. With that being the case, it’s important to have friends that push us to be better. There’s a small group of people that pursue improvement no matter what. But for most of us, without a push, we’re not going to reach the next level.
Say you’re decently fit and none of your friends are. You don’t exactly have a lot of motivation to keep improving. However, if you had someone challenging you to hit that next fitness milestone, you’d perhaps rise to the challenge and be better for it.
As another example let’s say you and your friends all struggle a little to stop drinking and you all know it. Yet every weekend you all make fun of anyone that says they want to cut back or stop. Instead of continually dragging people down, encourage the good behavior, challenge them to do better, and hold them accountable for doing better.
Challenging others is not just a tool for people who haven’t reached their goals. Even if you’ve reached your goal, there’s still improvement to be made. I don’t care if a millionaire is friends with someone in poverty. That millionaire should be challenging and encouraging that friend in poverty to better their lot, and the other friend should be challenging the millionaire to make another million. Often times someone in poverty isn’t going to be able to think beyond their own situation, but the principle remains.
What if I’m happy with my current position? Maybe you are. If you are, could someone else benefit from you bettering yourself? Could you be helping someone else financially or lending your time? Could you be building something that would benefit multiple people? Could being even more successful free up more of your time for your spouse, kids, or parents? These are all things to consider.
Do you have an idea that’s been floating around in your head but you haven’t taken action? Perhaps a side hustle, hobby or personal goal that you never seem to get around to? That’s why we need people challenging us and holding us accountable. If you have a friend that has been talking about a side project, it’s time to encourage them to pursue it. But that’s not enough. You also have to hold them accountable. Check in from time to time to see if they are taking action. And if they are worth anything as a friend, you should expect the same from them.